Finding Me Read online

  “I needed something as bright as my sky full of stars. Isabella Rose, will you mar—”

  “Yes!”

  “I didn’t finish the quest—”

  I flung my arms around his neck and crushed my lips to his. I clutched the back of his neck as he moaned into my mouth. He pulled back, panting with narrowed eyes.

  “Now, you’re gonna let me finish. Will. You. Marry. Me.”

  “Yes. I. Will.” I took his face in my hands and kissed him with everything I had. From the beginning, all of me was always his.

  “Before I drop the ring in the sand, can I please get this on your finger?”

  I nodded and he slipped the ring on. When the sun shone on the diamonds, it really did look like a sky full of stars.

  Owen threaded his fingers in my hair and brought my lips back to his. We started drifting back on the towel when I pulled back from the kiss.

  “My phone is in the car. I should tell my parents.”

  “They know. Do you really think I would ask Lucas Hunter’s daughter to marry me without getting his permission first? I’m crazy in love, but I don’t have a death wish.”

  I laughed and reached for the journal again. I took the pen that was attached to the cover and started scribbling.

  Owen’s brow furrowed as he gazed at me. “What are you doing?”

  “It’s my journal to write in, right?” I handed it back to him and pointed to the bottom of the page.

  “Let’s see here. ‘I plan to spend the rest of my life making Owen as happy as he makes me. Once he takes me to wherever the hell we’re supposed to be going, I’m taking my clothes off and showing him how happy I really am, over and over and over again.’” Owen shut the journal and took in a deep breath. “Well, City. You win. Let’s go.” Owen pulled me to stand and gave me one last passionate kiss before he dragged me back to the truck.

  A happiness like this was something I never expected. The girl who’d been cast aside somehow got everything she ever wanted, and more. Owen was always it for me, and as long as we were together, I could manage whatever life wanted to throw at us. I was loved, and even though I was never really lost, I was found—for the rest of my life.

  The End

  Thank you for reading Finding Me. Please leave an honest review on Goodreads and Amazon, it’s the best thing you can do for an author.

  THEY SAY IT TAKES A village, but this book needed an entire city. I’ll try to keep my mushy and long-winded self in check and keep it as short and sweet as possible.

  First, to my editor Brenda Letendre. I learn more from you with each book I write. Thank you for helping me really get in there and make Finding Me a book I’m proud of. You do double duty as editor and therapist with each book, in addition to being my full-time friend. Thank you never seems like enough.

  To Najla Qamber, I love all my covers, but Finding Me is my favorite. Thank you for bringing the crazy ideas in my head to life and I look forward to each project with you. You have amazing talent and vision and you’ll never be rid of me.

  To Christine at Perfectly Publishable, thank you for taking care of all my babies. Your talent and work ethic is amazing and you have a lifelong client in me.

  To Daniela at DCP Designs, thank you for the beautiful teasers. You captured the story perfectly and I love sharing your beautiful work everywhere.

  To Between the Sheets Promotions. You always take such good care of me. Thank you for a great cover reveal and release blitz.

  To my betas, Barb, Laura, Shannon D, Shannon M, Ella, Jennifer, Christine, Lara, Tina, Jena, Kaitie and Roxie. If there is a purgatory, your time with me will make you bypass it for sure. Thank you for your dedication to Owen and Bella and helping me make their story great. Shannon D, thank you for loving my boys and making sure Owen was good enough for “our Bella.” Shannon M, your support and love for my words humbles me, so glad Lucas and Evan led me to you. Ella, I can’t thank you enough for all you do for me and for being in my corner even before I pressed publish. Jennifer, thank you for the awesome journal suggestion and for helping me make Finding Me perfect. Christine, my wonderful friend by my side from the beginning, knowing that you loved Owen so much is what kept me going. Lara, I love you hooker, thank you for your support, your emoji, and for pushing me to make Owen and Bella all they could be. Roxie, your amazing ability to see what I never can always amazes me, thank you for guidance and for being such an amazing friend to me always. Kaitie, your enthusiasm and love for my words means so much to me, thank you for your constant support. Tina, thank you for your amazing feedback that helped me move the story forward, and being in my corner from before day one. Jena, my wonderful and talented friend who really digs deep to help me write the best story I can, I will never let you stop reading for me even if you threaten me with your Cross-fit muscles. (I stand by the fact I was drunk when I first wrote Chapter 16.)

  Laura, the first and last keeper of my words and the very patient friend who still talks to me despite my constant freak outs. Having a true friend that believes in you is worth its weight in gold, and you are platinum sister.

  Everyone should have a friend like BL Berry. Barb, I really don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me to be my best, and holding me back from jumping off the ledge. If I had one wish, it would be to make Kansas closer to New York. Regardless of distance, you’re stuck with me for life.

  For the wonderful friends who read through Finding Me. Mia Kayla, thank you so much for being my standalone check, and cheering me on every step of the way. I love you friend, and we are in this together forever! Faith Andrews, thank you so much for giving me the tough love I needed to make Owen and Bella the best they could be and for being such a great friend to me all these years, I’ll always wish I could be half the writer you are.

  To Lucas’s girls, Tanya and Kelly. I was so lucky to meet the both of you on this crazy writing journey. Thank you for making sure I gave Bella the story that she deserved.

  To Jennifer and Jill, thank you for your eyes on my words to help make Finding Me perfect.

  My amazing friends, Jaimee, Kristy, Daina, Paula, and Natalie, thank you for being my very final check to make sure this story was as tight as it could be. The time you took and your enthusiasm for Jaimee’s “Friday Night Lights” boy meant the world to me.

  Jaimee, Kristy, and Kim, three amazing and talented ladies. Your friendship means the world to me. I wanted Bella to have friends like you.

  To Logan, your enthusiasm for my books is what makes this writing gig fun. Thanks for weighing in as hockey expert when I needed you.

  To Alison Bailey, thanks for always being someone to look up to, and for finding the right beer for Owen to drink so his trip home to Savannah was authentic.

  To #indiechicksrock, the Indie Chicks Rockin’ Readers Group, and all my author friends; I’ve met some wonderful writers and readers along the way, and I appreciate every ounce of support and friendship.

  To my wonderful Rose Garden, your constant support for me and my boys are what keeps me going. Your love for my words is what makes me want to write more of them, and you are the reason why Bella has her own story.

  To every blogger and reader who picked up one of my books, having anyone read and love your words is a high I can’t begin to describe. Every review and recommendation are how Indie authors survive, and I don’t take a single one for granted.

  To my family, my very patient husband and son who build LEGO while I pound at the keys from my seat on the couch. Everything I do in life is for the both of you. My two superheroes mean everything to me.

  Mom, I’m so excited that you can actually read this one, although there are parts I’m sure I’ll still get the stink eye for. The pride in your eyes at me becoming a writer means more to me than you’ll ever know.

  To my grandfather. I spent my whole life wondering about my father until the day you died. That’s when I realized I always had one. You picked me up from school every da
y, played dominos and checkers with me and always let me win (even when I got really obnoxious), taught me to drive, and walked me down the aisle. All I had to do was walk into a room and you’d light up, and that’s what I still miss the most. I don’t feel cheated, I feel blessed. I tell my son every single day about his namesake, and wish you were here to laugh at all the silly things he does. No one would be prouder of my writing than you, and I hope somehow you could see and still are.

  To fatherless daughters and the men who step in to love them as their own. Sometimes our parents aren’t the ones we’re assigned, sometimes God gives them to us in other ways. Biology doesn’t make a father, love does.

  Stephanie Rose was born and raised in the Bronx, New York and still lives there with her superhero-obsessed husband and son.

  She has a Bachelor’s degree in Business and a day job in marketing, but she always has a story in her head. Her books are full of swoon-worthy men and feisty heroines.

  This lifelong New Yorker lives for Starbucks, book boyfriends, and 80s rock. Her voice is often mistaken for a Mob Wives trailer.

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  Always You

  Only You

  To see where it all began, meet Lucas and Samantha in Always You.

  Ten years earlier

  Drops of sweat poured down my face as I waited by the bar for a drink. I was growing more and more irritated as the minutes went by. The extra effort I had put into my hair and makeup had now gone to shit by the heat and humidity of this dive bar. My damp hair clung to my forehead and the back of my neck. I had even broken out my push up bra, which made my double D’s look 3D in my black tank top. That backfired too, as I was sporting some serious boob sweat—not sexy at all.

  A crowded bar wasn’t for me. I liked a more subdued type of place, but a few friends of mine had been on my case to come out tonight. But that wasn’t the real reason I was here with extra makeup running down my face and my boobs hanging out.

  Lucas Hunter, the beautiful object of my unrequited affection for the past three years, had mentioned he would be there for a few farewell drinks and he’d ‘love it if I stopped by.’ He had found a job with one of the accounting big four firms in San Diego, and was leaving his job as college advisor. I couldn’t bring myself to think of Lucas not being around anymore. I had very little time left to shamelessly follow him around.

  My only saving grace for tonight was the music. Eighties and early nineties rock songs played on a continuous loop. One of my favorites, Heart’s Alone, blasted from the jukebox. Listening to it now seemed poignant as Ann Wilson belted out the words that described my life for the past three years.

  The wait for my Malibu and pineapple seemed to take forever. The female bartender was too busy feeling the biceps of the underage college boys ordering their drinks. I huffed as I tapped my foot.

  “C’mon, O’Rourke. Can’t you lighten up?” My friend Jason put his arm around me and I smiled in spite of myself. It was true. I was having a tantrum like a child, but my emotions were all over the place.

  “It’s just frustrating. All I want is a frigging drink.” I nodded at the full bottle of beer in Jason’s hand. “Of course you bat your eyelashes and get one instantly. She’s looking back at you, too.” I shook my head and laughed. Jason was a great looking guy, built with sexy hazel eyes—but she wasn’t his type. He preferred someone with less makeup and more penis.

  Jason shrugged with a smirk. “I guess the joke is on her, then. We’re seniors in a month, we’ve been dying for you to come out with us. Alexis isn’t even that weepy tonight. You look hot, so get your drink and have fun with us. You deserve to let loose a little bit. And the other thing that’s got you all worked up, I just saw him walk in.” Jason smirked as he swaggered away to where our friends were sitting. I took a deep breath and tried to get a better attitude.

  “Let me guess. Malibu and pineapple, right?” I was gutted by the deep voice that now broke my heart as much as it thrilled me. I spun around and found Lucas Hunter standing next to me in the smoky haze. Why did he always have to look so damn good? Even in the dimly lit bar, I could make out his piercing blue eyes. His sandy brown hair was tousled like he just got out of bed, and his black V-neck shirt stuck to every ridge and hard muscle of his torso. Lucas made sweaty look hot—really hot.

  “How did you know that?”

  “Daina told me that was your favorite drink when I made fun of her for ordering it at our cousin’s wedding. Wait here, Baby Girl. I’ll get it for you.” Lucas always had a way of swooping in and fixing things. I had the damsel in distress act down pat, always needing help with something. Lucas always came to my rescue and looked out for me. Now, he would be saving the day for some chick in California. Maybe I should’ve changed my order to a shot.

  Of course, Lucas had our drinks in under five minutes.

  “I’m glad you came out tonight. The company found me an apartment so I have to leave earlier than I’d planned to get settled.” Lucas took a long swig of his beer.

  “How much earlier?” I tried to keep the panic out of my voice as I slurped my drink. Lucas was not my boyfriend. He had become a good friend over the years, but he was never attainable to me in any way, shape or form. But knowing I wouldn’t see or talk to him anymore made a lump form in my throat so large it was choking me. This reaction couldn’t be rational—or normal.

  “Sunday.” Lucas gave me a sad smile. Two days? That’s all I had? What if I finally told him how I felt and attacked his perfect lips the way I’ve wanted to for the past three years?

  I took a deep breath and grabbed Lucas’s arm.

  “Lucas, would you want to—”

  “There he is! Lucas! We’ve been looking all over the place for you!”

  Lucas’s friend Derek came over to pull him back with the group. He was good looking too, with his wavy black hair and over six feet in height. Too bad whenever Lucas was in the room, I didn’t see anyone but him.

  “Excuse me for a bit, Sam. Time to collect some free drinks from these slackers.”

  “Sure.” My voice was a low whisper, my body feeling the aftereffects of the adrenaline pumping in my veins. Trying to be brave made me weak in the knees and a little nauseated.

  No, no, no! I was doing this. For once I was going after what I wanted. No regrets!

  I headed to the back of the crowded room, just in time to see someone throw her arms around Lucas and kiss him—right on the lips. It was hard to tell who she was since I didn’t see her face, but she had a phenomenal body—at least from the back. So much for this being a night of no regrets. The blood in my veins ran cold as I backed away, shaking my head at myself for even trying.

  I moped back over to the bar and took a seat, putting my face in my hands. I needed to stop this—now. I was always a kid in his eyes—someone he called “Baby Girl” as a joke, or “Sam” like I was one of the guys. I needed to face the hard fact that I’d been denying for the past three years—that the way Lucas saw me was never going to change.

  Any time I spent with another guy never went past kissing. I didn’t give anyone a chance because I’d had Lucas blinders on for the past three years—and where did it get me? Absolutely fucking nowhere.

  “Hey, is this seat taken?” Marc, one of the guys I recognized from the few frat parties I attended took a seat on the stool next to me. He was about my height, five and a half feet-ish, with black hair and brown eyes. He wore a blue checkered shirt and khaki shorts, looking like he just came back from the beach. The last party I went to that was hosted by Marc’s frat, I remembered feeling like I was in the modern day version of the movie Animal House—and Marc was the reincarnated John Belushi.

  “No. Marc, right?”

  He nodded and smiled. Maybe he was a little cute at second glance.r />
  “And you’re Samantha. Nice to meet you. I’ve seen you around.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “You have?”

  “Well, sure. You’re hard to miss. I’ve seen you once or twice with Lucas Hunter. Please don’t tell me you’re a part of his entourage! Makes me sick how girls follow pretty boy everywhere around school. I hear he’s finally leaving.”

  “We’re just friends. He’s headed to California in a couple of days.” I tried to say it without sounding as devastated as I was.

  “Interesting. Anyway, enough about him. Tell me about you; where do you live?”

  “I live in the Bronx.” Marc squinted at me.

  “All the way up there? I’m guessing you’re a Yankees fan. I live in Queens. I usually don’t travel that far, or tolerate arrogant Yankees fans, but I’d make an exception for you.”

  “Should I feel lucky?” I rolled my eyes and went back to my drink.

  “You’re a spunky little thing. I think I need to take you out and see how feisty you really are.” Marc gave me a wink. It wasn’t as sexy as when Lucas did it, but I had to admit Marc was growing on me.

  “Could I have your number? There’s a good restaurant I know in Queens if you like Greek food. I’ll even drive across the bridge and pick you up. What do you say, Sam?”

  “Samantha. I don’t let anyone call me Sam.” That is, anyone except a gorgeous soon to be ex-college advisor who was taking that privilege with him across the country.

  It was time to stop fishing in the deep waters when it came to guys, and give someone who seemed to have an actual interest in me a chance. I glanced to where Lucas was standing with his arm playfully around the girl’s tiny waist. I looked away before I saw them kiss again.

  “Do you have a pen?”

  Marc’s eyes lit up as he reached in his pocket and handed me one. I grabbed a napkin and wrote down my number. He put the napkin in the front pocket of his shirt and patted it like he had something valuable.

  “Sorry, Sam. I got a little preoccupied back there.” Lucas came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder, making me jump.