Finding Me Read online

  “Isn’t that one over there?” Laura whispered and pointed with her thumb behind us. I glanced back and recognized the thick neck and crew cut framing a babyface.

  “Hi, Logan,” I yelled to him. Logan was the second line center after Owen. He gave me a nervous nod. He was probably shitting a brick that I noticed him trailing us.

  “I better start packing now or we’ll be up all night.” Laura huffed before sauntering away. “See you later?”

  I nodded and lowered my gaze to the ground. Tomorrow I’d head back to Queens, and Owen would head back to Savannah. Now that finals were over, that reality had a chance to sink in—and it sucked.

  My trip to Savannah over spring break was cancelled because I had to go to court to finalize the restraining order. Owen’s parents understood and said we could reschedule for the summer. I dreaded the next three months when I’d only see his face on Skype or FaceTime. Owen promised time and distance meant nothing to us, and I kept repeating it to myself like a litany. Truth was, time and distance apart would only stretch longer. Owen would graduate next year, and after that who knew what would happen. If the NHL came back next year and saw how special he was, he would never pass that up. I knew I loved Owen and he loved me, but I hated not having a clue about anything else.

  “Any reason you’re dragging that beautiful face all along the ground?” Owen crept behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  “No reason.” I sighed without turning around. “Just thinking of how long summer is.”

  Owen snickered and turned me around to face him. “Most students like that summer is long—smarty pants.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed harder.

  “Aw, City … You miss me already, don’t you?” His emerald eyes twinkled as he tapped my chin.

  “I did, but now you’re getting on my nerves, so not really.” I turned to walk away and he pulled me back by my hand.

  He kissed the tip of my nose and held me in an embrace so tight I couldn’t move my arms. “Why am I getting on your nerves?” His smart ass attitude pissed me off even more.

  “You could at least have the decency to act a little sad. Tomorrow I go back to Queens and you go back to Savannah. I’m trying to save up enough to come see you but I still don’t know when that will be.”

  Owen let out a long sigh and shook his head. “You are the worst person to try to surprise. Anyone ever tell you that?”

  “Surprise?” I narrowed my eyes at him as I tried to wiggle out of his hold. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re half right. Tomorrow you’ll go back to Queens, but I’m coming with you. I got an internship this summer in Manhattan.”

  “You … what?” My mouth opened and closed again wordlessly before I finally managed, “How?”

  “Cat got your tongue, City?” I nudged his shoulder and he laughed at me again. “I applied in the fall and my dad pulled a couple of strings. I’ll be interning at a sports agency in the department that deals with player contracts. It’s a good way to learn the business from the other side. Whether I’m on the team or I work for it, I won’t be clueless going in. Your dad said I could stay at your house.”

  “My dad knows too?” I didn’t know which was weirder—Dad knowing about this before me or him agreeing to let Owen stay at our house for an entire summer.

  “I promised to stay in my appointed quarters at night. But I figured,” Owen whispered against my lips, “you have a car, and your family can’t be home all the time. We’ll just have to work on being creative.” Owen brushed his lips against mine, and even though I wanted to stay mad, I fisted the material of his T-shirt and brought him closer to deepen the kiss.

  “So you and my dad are best buddies now?”

  Owen shrugged. “He’s a good guy. We bonded. I don’t want to get on his bad side—ever, but he’s pretty cool.”

  I shook my head as I fought a smile. “You are something else, OT.”

  “I told you I’d always find a way to stay with you. You need to learn to trust me. I was going to tell you tonight at my apartment, but being as though you were all torn up inside about leaving me, now you don’t have to be.”

  I took a deep breath and looked away. We didn’t have to worry about separating—now. But after next year, everything would change. This was good—no awesome—news, but we’d have to leave each other eventually.

  “And you can unwrinkle that cute little forehead thinking too far ahead into the future. When I graduate, I’ll find a way then, too. You’re stuck with me.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “In case you missed it, you’re it for me. I love you.”

  He was a cocky pain in the ass, but he knew me better than I knew myself. From the day I met him, he was always just what I needed—and everything I ever wanted. Warmth flooded my chest at the emerald eyes and dimples that made every day better than the one before.

  “I love you, too.” I wrapped my arms around his neck as he leaned his forehead against mine. “Always and forever.”

  Owen beamed back at me with a slow nod. “Always, forever, and everywhere.”

  Five years later

  Lucas

  “HEY, JOE!” I CALLED OVER my shoulder to my thirteen-year-old son. “Why are there two trays of cupcakes in the kitchen?”

  He shrugged without looking up from his phone. Joey looked like a young man, only a head or so shorter than me, but was every bit a typical clueless kid.

  “A couple of girls brought them over for my birthday, no big deal.”

  “A couple? Who?”

  His brows pulled together as he stared off into space. “Shannon and Ella, or maybe it was Lara.” He shrugged and dropped his gaze back to the screen.

  “You don’t even remember their names?” Bella came up behind me and gaped at her little brother. “That’s disgusting, Joey. You’re growing up to be a jerk and that’s really upsetting me.”

  “Joey can’t help it.” My wife sauntered over to Joey and swiped the hair off his forehead with a sigh. “He’s his father’s twin. Of course, there are so many girls he can’t keep up.” Sam’s lips twisted in a smile at me. I shook my head and laughed.

  Joey gave his mother a sheepish grin and gazed at the floor. Joey was my kid, all right. He even used the same crooked smile when he tried to bullshit himself out of trouble.

  “But it would really break my heart, and your sister’s, if you became a jerk.”

  “At least keep the names straight.” That comment earned me a jab on both sides of my ribs from my wife and daughter.

  “I need to finish packing.” Bella strode away with an exasperated gaze.

  Sam chuckled and gave me a smirk as she followed Bella up the stairs. One kid was on her way out, and I had the feeling this one was only showing us the tip of the iceberg of the aggravation he had in store for us.

  I put my arm around my son and whispered in his ear. “Would you want anyone to be mean to your mom, or Bella?”

  Joey’s head jerked up as he squinted his eyes at me. “No! Of course not.”

  “Then don’t treat girls in a way you wouldn’t want them to be treated.” I shoved his shoulder and ruffled the front of his hair. It was sandy brown like mine, even though I’d gained some salt on the sides over the years. I had a gorgeous wife who thought the gray bristles in my beard were sexy, so aging didn’t bother me too much.

  I climbed the stairs and peeked in Bella’s doorway. “You’re taking a long time to pack for a weekend.”

  Bella rolled her eyes at me. “Well, if Owen wasn’t so damn secretive about where we were going it would be a whole lot easier, and faster.”

  “It’s a weekend at the shore. It’s not so terrible.” Sam pursed her lips at Bella. “Relax before you start working for a living.”

  Bella had no idea how to slow down or relax. My daughter couldn’t just get her masters; she signed up for an Executive MBA on an accelerated track. Two months before she even finished graduate school, she received three
job offers. I was so proud, but wished she’d slow down just a little to enjoy herself.

  “You’re right, Mom.” Bella nodded as she zipped her suitcase. She narrowed her eyes at me as she lifted the bag from the bed. “I still don’t get how you’re okay with me going away with Owen alone.”

  “Why not? You’re twenty-three. I’m not always an ogre. I can progress.”

  Bella laughed and kissed my cheek before heading downstairs. “No, you can’t.”

  I let out a long sigh and turned to Sam. “She’s always been too damn smart for her own good.”

  Sam laughed and shrugged. “I think Owen may’ve played her pretty well. She’s so annoyed she doesn’t know where they’re going, she’s not questioning why.”

  “Maybe.” I gazed around Bella’s room. I’d gotten used to having her home after she graduated from college and commuted to graduate school in Manhattan. Soon, I’d have to say goodbye all over again, for good. Sure, she’d come back and visit, but she wouldn’t be home at night. No more daily talks about our days or busting each other’s chops. My Butterfly was really going to fly away this time, and I had no idea how I’d get used to it.

  Sam picked up the stuffed butterfly I bought her that first day she brought Bella to meet me. Bella still kept it on top of her dresser. She gazed at it with a sad smile and watery eyes. “Remember when she was this little?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered. Taking the butterfly out of Sam’s hands, I wrapped my arms around her. “I remember two beautiful girls coming into my life and turning it upside down. I fell in love with them both, even though both drive me crazy.” I kissed her lips and held her closer.

  “We fell in love with you, too.” A tear escaped the corner of her eye. “And I like that you’re an ogre. Don’t ever change, babe.” I let out a short laugh and pressed my lips to her forehead.

  “Mom! Dad! We’re leaving!” Bella yelled up the staircase.

  “Now don’t cry until they leave. That will tip her off for sure.” My lips twitched as she scowled at me.

  “Same goes for you, tough guy.”

  I followed Sam down the stairs and found Owen coming out of the kitchen with a cupcake stuffed in his mouth.

  “Wow, this is good, Joe. Keep the one who made these.”

  “Owen!” Bella punched Owen’s arm. “Don’t encourage him.”

  “See, another reason why you need to keep better track of the names, Joe.”

  Owen smirked at me. I didn’t think I’d like anyone dating my daughter, but Owen was a great guy—smart, respectful, and put Bella before everything else. He told me five years ago that he would ask my permission to marry Bella when they were ready. In spite of myself, I always knew I’d tell him yes.

  Bella shook her head at her brother with a sad smile. “Please don’t be a jerk.” She kissed him on the cheek and her eyes widened as he pulled her into a hug. Maybe I got through just a little, but time would tell.

  We followed them outside to Owen’s truck parked in our driveway.

  “Promise me you’ll loosen up and have a nice time.” Sam hugged Bella a little too tightly. I put my hand on the small of her back and gave her a little nudge so she’d let go before she upset us both.

  “Yes, Mom. I’ll text you guys when we get, wherever the hell we’re going,” She turned her head and glared at Owen.

  “Nice try, but still not telling you, City.” He loaded her suitcase in the back of the truck and strolled over to us. “See you guys on Monday.” His eyes twinkled as he wrapped his arm around Bella’s waist. “Listen to your mother and loosen up.”

  “Right.” Bella rolled her eyes and strolled toward me. “See you Monday, Dad.”

  As I took Bella’s face in my hands, I didn’t see the twenty-three year old happy, mature woman who was about to become engaged. I remembered the shy, skittish five-year-old little girl I drew out of her shell who gazed at me like I hung the moon. She may not have been my flesh and blood, but she was ingrained in my soul. Bella wasn’t born as my daughter, but I was meant to be her father.

  “Lucas, you saved me. You’re just like Superman.”

  “Am I pretty like a butterfly?”

  “I asked Santa if you could be my daddy, so you’d never have to leave.”

  “Dad?” Bella touched my chest and brought me back to reality. She wasn’t five anymore, but she’d always be mine. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arms around her. “I’m old. I stare into space sometimes.”

  “You’re not old, Dad. You’re still Superman.” She cupped my cheek before hopping into the truck.

  Owen let out a deep breath and strode over to us. “We better go.”

  “I’d do it soon,” I whispered. “She’ll only get more agitated.”

  “Don’t I know it!” He chuckled. He’d lived in New York for four years now as a big time sports agent, but his Georgia twang never wavered.

  “Good luck.” I shook his hand and slapped his arm. “So you know, my life is in that truck.”

  Owen nodded and put his hand on my shoulder. “So is mine.”

  I believed him. That was why—even though I would hate it—I would be able to let her go.

  Bella

  “Seaside?”

  “Nope.”

  “Long Beach Island?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?” I groaned in frustration. “You’re driving me crazy.”

  Owen smirked at me while he gazed at the road. “I plan on doing a lot of that this weekend. Relax and enjoy the ride, baby.”

  Not knowing where we were going was making me nuts. I reached over and ran my fingers through Owen’s hair. It was shorter than when he played hockey but long enough to grab a handful. I leaned over and nibbled on his earlobe.

  “Please tell me,” I crooned in his ear, only for him to snicker back at me.

  “Wow, you’re pulling out all the stops. It must be killing you something awful not to know.”

  “Fine. I’ll be surprised.” I huffed and settled back in my seat. I gazed out the window as beach after beach whizzed by. We’d been driving for hours and my legs were getting antsy.

  Owen pulled over next to a deserted tiny patch of beach. “I think we can get out for a bit and stretch our legs.” He shut the engine off and walked around to my side of the truck.

  “Are we close?” I stepped out and squinted at Owen.

  “Possibly.”

  “Ugh!”

  Owen burst out laughing as he took my hand and grabbed a beach towel and a box from the back. “Let’s go sit before you bust a gut or something.”

  “Are you sure we can be here? It looks private.”

  Owen spread the towel along the sand and reached out his hand. “We’re fine. C’mere.”

  I let out a long sigh as I took Owen’s hand and joined him on the oversized towel.

  “What’s that?” I nodded to the box.

  “This is my graduation present to you. Something I’ve been working on for a while.” He took the top off the box and handed me a leather covered journal.

  “You got me a journal? The cover is really pretty.” I ran my hands down the smooth tan leather.

  Owen’s eyes darted out toward the ocean and then back to mine. “You told me you wrote in a journal when you were upset, so I thought I could start a new tradition; a journal with only good things.” He opened the first page and I recognized the scribble that was Owen’s handwriting.

  I laughed when I read the passage. ‘I met the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in line at Bean Shooters. I’ll be mean to him and see if it will make him like me.’ You’re so humble.” I rolled my eyes but fought a smile.

  “Yeah, my lack of self-confidence is my downfall. Keep going.”

  “Okay, moving on. ‘I started tutoring Owen in accounting. Maybe he’s not a dumb jock after all.’” I took his hand and laced our fingers together. “I never really thought that. I actually did think you were the hottest guy I’d ever
seen.”

  “It was the bandana—which I still have should you ever want to take a hot stroll down memory lane.” Owen kissed my neck and bit my earlobe.

  I giggled as my body jerked. “I’ll keep that in mind. That bandana was sexy as hell. All right, next page. ‘Owen said he loved me for the first time. He said I was the most incredible girl he ever met and I amazed him every time we were together.’” I furrowed my brow as I lifted my gaze to his. “You didn’t say all of that.”

  “No,” he uttered a sad chuckle. “But I should have. You still amaze me.”

  I grinned at him and shrugged. “I always thought it was the underwear I bought over winter break.”

  “Oh, I loved that too, baby. Flip to the last page.”

  “Hmm, this is dated today. ‘Owen asked me to marry him on the beach, and I said yes.’” It took a second for the words I just spoke to register, but once they did my breath caught in my throat and my heart pounded in my ears. I gazed at Owen, already down on one knee before me.

  “You … this was why …” My words halted as my eyes started to tear.

  Owen gazed down at the sand and then lifted his eyes to mine. “I have loved you from … probably from the first moment we met. You made me want to be better at everything so I could be the man you deserved.”

  “Better?” I squeaked through my tears. “Owen, you’re ama—”

  “Shhh …” He pressed his finger to my lips. “Been working on this speech for a long time. Let me get through it first.”

  I laughed through my tears and nodded.

  “From the moment you came into my life, no one else would ever compare. I wanted—needed—to be with you. Everything else that happened …” Owen shrugged, “would fall into place as long as I had you. All I need is you, Bella.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. Inside was a beautiful emerald cut diamond ring surrounded by smaller diamonds.

  “Owen, it’s … too much.” I was hiccupping from the tears now, and gave up trying to control it.