Finding Me Read online

  “I … can I talk to her?” Was Christian always this small? He looked like a middle school boy next to Owen.

  “I’m fine, Christian.” I glared at him, hoping that would get him to leave.

  “Hear that? All good. I’d hate to have to take you back across the street myself. I may not be as nice as Mr. Hunter over here.”

  Christian glared at Owen as he backed away. “No, I’m going. You guys have a nice night.” Christian rushed out the door and I was surprised at the laugh that escaped my lips.

  “Hey, now. What’s that? A smile?” Owen kneeled before me and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I could still beat him up if you’d like.”

  “Hey, slow it down. You got to punch Marc. I get to beat up that jerk across the street. Don’t hog everything.” Dad smirked at Owen and Mom and I exchanged puzzled gazes.

  Maybe everything would be okay. A weird okay, but okay all the same.

  Owen

  SAMANTHA SET ME UP IN their downstairs guest room. She fussed most of the evening to make sure I had enough pillows and blankets, but once I climbed into bed I couldn’t sleep a wink. Adrenaline had been coursing through my veins ever since Bella ran out of the diner last night. Everything was settled and Bella was okay, but every time I closed my eyes I saw the ugly bruises on her arm. I was an athlete; the fastest player on the whole damn team in fact. Granted I’m usually on skates, but why couldn’t I have gotten to her faster? If I had, Marc would never have gotten the chance to put his hands on her.

  By the same token, thank God I paid attention to my gut and not my girlfriend when I followed her to the diner. How could someone treat their own kid like that? My mother always said there was a special place in hell for those who were cruel and mean to their own child. I hoped that was true, because Marc Christensen deserved to burn there for however long eternity was.

  Mr. Hunter told me before turning in he was such a light sleeper he could ‘hear angels farting on pillows.’ I took that as his warning not to make any nighttime visits to Bella’s room, but I needed to check on her. I tiptoed up the stairs. Light seeped out from the bottom of her door. I turned the knob and inched it open.

  Bella was wide awake too. She scribbled into a notebook and jumped when her gaze met mine.

  “Hey! You’re like a ninja. I didn’t hear you open the door,” Bella whispered as she closed the book and moved over on her bed.

  I smirked as I climbed on and put my arm around her. “I have many talents. Are you okay?” I nodded at the closed book in her hands. My stomach twisted remembering she only wrote in a journal when she was upset.

  “Meh.” She shrugged and leaned her head on my shoulder. “I will be. Everyone keeps saying it’s not my fault.”

  “Because it’s not,” I whispered. I reached for her hand to bring it to my lips.

  “I let myself get duped. I knew what kind of guy he was and yet I still let him trick me. I hope the restraining order works.”

  “It will. Personally, I think it’s a better idea to just let your dad kill him.” Bella giggled and I kissed her forehead. “Marc is a coward. I saw it with my own eyes. When he’s challenged he backs off like a little girl.”

  Bella draped her arm around my waist and cuddled into my neck. “I’m glad you were there, and that you’re here now. You make everything better. That’s why I missed you so much.” She kissed my cheek and I held her tighter.

  “I went crazy without you. Literally. When I got suspended, all I wanted was you. I hated that I couldn’t even talk to you about it.”

  “So, let’s not lose each other again.” Bella ran her hand down my cheek. I kissed her finger as it drifted over my lips.

  “We definitely won’t. I can promise you that. I’ll let you get some sleep.” I kissed her lips and turned to stand from the bed.

  “Wait.” Bella grabbed my hand. “Can you lie with me until I fall asleep?”

  “You’re trying to get me killed, aren’t you?” I nodded toward her parents’ room at the end of the hall.

  “No.” She chuckled. “I just … need you right now. I don’t have any other reason.”

  I grinned as I shut off her lamp and pulled the covers over us. “You don’t have to have a reason. I always need you. I put it right out there, all the time.”

  Bella giggled, then hissed in pain as she rested her head on my chest.

  “Arm still hurts?” I whispered into her hair.

  She nodded as she lifted her head to meet my gaze. “And it’s the side I usually sleep on. Another reason I can’t sleep.”

  I sat up and rolled the sleeve of Bella’s nightshirt past her elbow. I brushed my lips against her shoulder and pressed soft kisses all the way down her arm, over the ugly purple bruises not visible in the dark. Bella leaned into me and threaded her fingers in my hair before I lay back down and pulled her into my side.

  “Better?”

  “Much.” Bella snuggled into me as her body relaxed in my arms.

  “I love you, baby.” I kissed the top of her head. “Get some sleep.”

  “I love you, too. And I finally think I can.” Bella yawned and draped her leg over my thigh.

  “Hey, City,” I whispered. “We need to keep this PG. Please move your leg.”

  “I thought you liked that. That’s how we sleep in your bed.” Bella nuzzled into my neck.

  “I love that. Because my hand can drift up your curvy thigh and settle between your legs. That isn’t an option tonight, so please have mercy on my weak soul and move your leg.”

  Bella laughed and lifted her head to kiss my cheek. Her breathing slowed against my neck as her grip loosened from around my waist. When I was sure she was in a deep sleep, I kissed the top of her head and inched out of bed. I crept down the stairs and stepped into the darkened kitchen to pull a bottle of water from the fridge. I took a long gulp then turned my head at the footsteps behind me.

  “Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” Mr. Hunter raked his hands down his face before flicking on the light and opening the refrigerator door.

  I let out a long sigh. “Nope.”

  “You’re twenty-one, right?” He asked with his head still buried in the fridge.

  “Yes, sir. As of this January.”

  He straightened and handed me a bottle of beer. “You could use this today. I know I sure as hell can.” He reached into the drawer behind him and pulled out a bottle opener. After the hiss of his bottle opening, he handed it to me.

  I gazed down at the opener but was afraid to take it. “Um, is this like a test?”

  Mr. Hunter laughed. “You don’t have to pretend it’s your first drink. No test, I promise.”

  I nodded and opened the bottle. The ice cold alcohol felt amazing sliding down my throat. I’d need a couple more to relax enough to sleep.

  He nodded to the tiny kitchen table and sat down. I followed and set the bottle on the table.

  “Was Bella’s fa—Marc always like this?” I squinted at Mr. Hunter.

  He shook his head as he swallowed a big gulp of beer. “He was a negligent asshole of a father, but never violent with Bella or Sam. He’s desperate. Desperate people do desperate things, like follow their teenage daughter to college and harass her for money she can’t give them. No one has a lower opinion of Marc than I do, and even I’m shocked by this.”

  Mr. Hunter put his beer down and narrowed his eyes at me. “So, you like my daughter?”

  I shook my head. “No, sir. I love your daughter.”

  He nodded without looking at me. “I know. We’re very grateful you saved her yesterday. That’s why you’re still alive after sneaking out of her room just now.” I froze as he raised his eyebrows at me. Shit, he really was a light sleeper.

  “I didn’t … I just went to check on her and she couldn’t sleep. She asked me to stay until she fell asleep, that’s it.” I totally got why Bella’s ex was scared to death of this guy. He was a quiet kind of menacing, the type of guy who didn’t yell because he never had to.
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  His lips twitched with a smile. “If you hadn’t done that, she probably would have been up all night, going back and forth thinking it was her fault and worrying about Marc’s next move.”

  “Do you think he’ll come after her again?” I played it off to Bella as though I didn’t think he would, but I intended to be her shadow once we got back to Culver.

  He shrugged. “He might. Campus security will have to know what he looks like to keep him off the premises. There’s a police report with pictures of Bella’s bruises, so that doesn’t look good if he tries to take the money from her in court. Truth is, I don’t know what he’ll do next. We can only protect her the best we can.”

  “Would he show up here?”

  He huffed and turned his gaze to me. “That would be my dream come true. He wouldn’t be able to go after Bella again after I got done with him. He hurt my daughter, so I’d hurt him right back.”

  I grinned as I downed the rest of my beer. “I’d be happy to help.”

  “Sure, kid.” He slapped my shoulder. “Just let me get the first punch this time.”

  “You got it.” Mr. Hunter was pretty cool. Still scary as hell, but cool.

  “Now, get some sleep. I’ll drive you guys back in the morning.”

  “Good night, sir.” I turned to make my way out of the kitchen when he tapped my shoulder.

  “You can stop with the ‘sir.’ Between that and your accent I feel as though I should be drinking mint juleps outside on the veranda.”

  I laughed. “Sorry, Mr. Hunter.”

  “Lucas is fine. Any man who punches Marc gets to call me by my first name.”

  “I feel like part of the family.” I smirked back. “I haven’t even asked for Bella’s hand yet.”

  Lucas froze on the steps and turned to me. “Hold it right there. You’re a good kid, but both of you are … just kids. She’s got college and she wants her masters …”

  “I know. And I want all those things for her, too. When we’re ready, I’ll ask you.”

  “When?” He squinted his eyes at me.

  “She’s it for me.” I shrugged. “She’s everything. I think in ‘when’ with her. Not ‘if’.”

  He turned, nodding as he climbed up the stairs. “I know how that goes. Good night, Owen.”

  “Good night, Mr … I mean Lucas.”

  He chuckled as he disappeared up the staircase.

  I’d told Bella time and distance didn’t matter when it came to us. Because when all was said and done, no matter what life had in store for me, I had no doubts where I’d end up—right next to her.

  Bella

  MY FINGERS LOCKED WITH OWEN’S as Dad’s car pulled up in front of my dorm. The local police station was empty in contrast to the packed precinct in Queens where I gave my first statement. As I repeated the story, the piercing sting of shame twisted my insides. The officer’s brows pulled together as he jotted down notes in his report; idiot may as well have been written across my forehead. My pursuit of validation from a father who never wanted me in the first place brought me a shit ton of trouble—trouble I prayed ended today.

  “Owen, do you want a ride to your dorm, or is it close enough to walk?” Dad peered at us in the rear view mirror. Mom shot me a wince from the front seat. We both knew the admiration Dad had developed for Owen over the past couple of days would come to an abrupt end if he found out about his apartment.

  Owen opened his mouth to answer before I grabbed his arm.

  “Yeah, Owen’s dorm is close. No big deal.” I raised an eyebrow at Owen and he nodded in response. Even Owen didn’t want to poke that bear.

  Dad popped the trunk as Owen and I stepped out of the car. Owen mouthed a phew at me as he pretended to wipe his brow. I smiled until I glanced over his shoulder at a familiar form sitting on the bench in front of the dorm building. Dad switched my cell phone number the day before, but I’d been afraid to check my email. My breathing went shallow and my body froze—I had a feeling Marc wouldn’t disappear until he got what he wanted.

  “Bella, what’s wrong? Talk to me, baby.” Owen squeezed my shoulder. I held my gaze on Marc as I nodded in his direction.

  Owen gritted his teeth as he muttered a curse. “Stay here, Bella.” He didn’t look back as he stormed in Marc’s direction. Panic rose in my throat. Owen was already suspended from the hockey team for fighting. Clobbering Marc on campus in plain sight would get him in serious trouble.

  “Owen, stop!” I yelled but he was already sprinting toward Marc. I ran after him and tried to grab his arm to pull him back.

  Marc huffed and stood from the bench with his hands raised as Owen approached.

  “I don’t want any trouble, I just want to speak to my daughter.”

  “Her arm is black and blue from the last time you tried to speak to her.” Owen pulled me behind him as he glared at Marc. “You aren’t getting anywhere near her.”

  Marc snickered as he strutted up to Owen. “It’s not up to you.” Marc craned his neck and turned to us with a smirk. “I doubt you want to take another swing at me in public, unless you really do want to spend the night in a cell.”

  “I wouldn’t mind that at all.” Our heads jerked to Dad’s voice behind us. He marched up to Marc with an icy glare. “I’d gladly spend the night in jail. Beating the shit out of you has been my dream for years. You harassed my daughter, you,” Dad growled as his jaw clenched. “You hurt her, all because you’re a fuck up that needs money.” His chest heaved as he moved closer to Marc.

  Marc rolled his eyes. “She’s not your daughter. She’s mine. That always killed you. She wasn’t as easy to steal as her mother.” Dad closed the distance between them and knocked him to the ground with one punch.

  “Stop!” Mom rushed over to Dad and stepped in front of him. “I don’t want to see my husband in jail!”

  “You won’t.” Dad gazed at Marc with a slow smile spreading across his face. “Because he’s too much of a coward to ever come back at me. Same as he ran away from Owen. He’s pathetic. Even the mother who used to worship him found that out in the end.”

  Dad crouched in front of Marc. Blood dribbled from Marc’s nose down to his lip. “But fuck if that didn’t feel good. There’s a restraining order heading your way, but come near my daughter again, and you better hope the police find you before I do.”

  Marc stood from the ground and glanced at my mother and me. Mom put her arm around me as she narrowed her eyes at her ex-husband.

  I stepped away from my mother as I met Marc’s gaze. “He never had to steal me. I’ve always been his. My entire life, I wondered what was wrong with me to make you leave. Turns out, it’s what’s wrong with you that kept you away. You aren’t a father. It’s not a title you invoke only when you need something.” I moved towards Marc and took a deep breath. “So whatever you wanted to say, or talk to me about, won’t make me want to help you. I’ve seen the kind of man you are. And I don’t want any part of it.”

  He looked between us before he shook his head and moped away with his wrist pressed to his bleeding nose. I wasn’t sure if the sinking feeling in my stomach was closure, or dread of what was yet to come. But the Marc I gazed at now had a lot less arrogant resolve. One way or another, I considered Marc Christensen out of my life—for good.

  “You okay, Butterfly?” Dad cupped my cheek.

  “Yeah.” My voice shook as I grasped Dad’s wrist.

  “He won’t hurt you again. I promise.”

  “So do I,” Owen added from behind me. I turned to his soft voice and he kissed the top of my head.

  “Lucas, that was pretty badass, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

  Dad chuckled. “Well, thanks for letting me have the first punch this time.”

  Mom and I squinted our eyes at each other and mouthed ‘Lucas?’

  Mom put her arm around me. “Let’s get your stuff upstairs.”

  “Thank you.” I kissed her cheek.

  Mom’s brow furrowed as she handed me my bac
kpack from the trunk. “For what?”

  “For giving Dad that second chance. I don’t want to think about life without him.”

  Mom let out a deep sigh and looked over her shoulder at Dad. “Neither do I.”

  Two months later

  Bella

  “NOTHING LIKE THE LAST FINAL before summer! God help me, but I hated philosophy.”

  I chuckled at Laura as we exited the liberal arts building for the last time until August. “I thought it was actually pretty easy.”

  “I didn’t like that whole bit about religion only existing for selfish reasons. I felt the eyes of my CCD teacher burning into me for almost believing it.”

  I nodded. “Catholic guilt follows you everywhere, like my mom always says.”

  “You should come visit me in Syracuse! We have a huge pool and plenty of room to stay.” Laura was one of the best people I’d ever met. She listened to all my drama with a sympathetic ear and without an ounce of judgment. I never wanted any other roommate.

  “I’d like that. I’m working with my aunt in the Bronx three days a week. She’s an accounting manager and needs some help with the paperwork and books since her boss opened up another office.”

  “That sounds … really boring.” Laura grimaced and pursed her lips.

  “You know I’m a weirdo and love numbers. Aunt Jess is exactly like me. Plus, her boss looks like the guy from Arrow.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “It’s not the worst place to work.”

  I laughed as Laura’s jaw dropped and she elbowed my side. “Don’t let Owen hear you say that, or one of his minions that he has follow you around.”

  For the rest of the semester, I never saw Marc again. I hoped he was gone for good, but I still feared that one last ghost face killer-like comeback. It was tough to walk around without looking over my shoulder, but I wouldn’t let him win. Like Dad said, don’t be scared, just be aware.

  Owen was attached to my hip whenever he wasn’t in class, and I couldn’t help but notice a different hockey player always seemed to be around when he wasn’t. They were the younger second and third line players who I’m sure felt honored when OT asked them to babysit his girlfriend. When I asked Owen about my new bodyguards, he gave me a big smile with extra dimples and swore he had no idea what I was talking about. He was even more transparent than Dad, but I loved them both for it.