Simmer Read online

  “Are you done with your homework?” I glanced at my watch. “It’s almost bedtime.” My heart squeezed at the familiar jut of my daughter’s bottom lip whenever I mentioned bedtime. “We’ll talk tomorrow, and every day after that. Okay?” I was soothing both of us. I didn’t want her to hang up either.

  “Okay, goodnight, Mommy. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I kissed my index finger and touched the screen over her face. She blew me a kiss back with her father chuckling next to her. Heaving a long sigh when the screen went black, I gazed up at ceiling, trying to get my bearings from all that information. I never had a problem making sacrifices for my daughter, and this time should’ve been no different. I was giving up a piece of her, so she could thrive and be happy with her father while I attempted to make a future for us.

  “Hey, is something wrong?” I raised my head to Lisa’s concerned stare as she ambled through the door. “Is Victoria okay?” Her gaze stayed on me as she sat on the edge of her bed.

  “She’s great.” I sighed and shook my head, laughing to myself. “Brand new iPad of her own, she gets to be flower girl at her father’s wedding, and she’s getting used to me not being around. All good.”

  “I’m sure she’s not.” Lisa’s sympathetic smile didn’t make me feel any better. “I bet if you picked her up right now, she’d jump on you and ask you to take her home. My mom worked long hours and I stayed with my grandmother a lot. I loved Nana, but when my mom came home, she was all I’d see. I’m sure it’s the same.” She nudged my shoulder.

  A pang twisted my chest. We had no home—not one of our own. I’d given up my apartment in Queens, and on Thanksgiving, Victoria and I would be staying with Josh and Brianna. Maybe that’s where the sour feelings were coming from. I was in a weird limbo I wasn’t used to.

  “You, my dear, need a drink.” Lisa grabbed clothes out of her dresser and headed toward our bathroom. “Let’s freshen up and head to Night Owls, and you are not saying no! You’re off tonight and don’t have class until noon tomorrow. Time to embrace college life, girlfriend.” She lifted an eyebrow before shutting the door.

  “I’m trying to save whatever I can. The internship doesn’t pay much—”

  “Well, tonight is on me, and you can spare a couple of bucks for a drink or a cup of coffee once in a while, I’m sure. You won’t be a recluse on my watch!” She scowled before she shut the door.

  When was the last time I went out for the simple sake of going out? I’d lost touch with all my friends by the time Victoria was a year old because I had no time to see them. The culinary students varied in age—some were late twenties or early thirties like I was. But this bar would probably be filled with college kids—kids I’d have no clue how to interact with.

  I raked my hand through my hair and fell back on the bed. As painful as a bar sounded tonight, staying in my room and stewing over all the ways I came up short as a mother would be torturous. Conversation, drinking, it couldn’t be that hard. I did it at one time. I’d met Josh in the bar I worked at when I was a different person in an entirely different life. I managed then, but could I manage now?

  I was afraid to find out.

  “See, this is fun, right?” Lisa whispered as she nudged my shoulder. “Fun” was stretching it a tad too far, but it wasn’t bad. I nursed a couple of beers as I chatted with some of Lisa’s friends. An odd smile or laugh crossed my lips from time to time. Maybe this was how it felt to relax.

  “This place must be boring compared to your old school in the city, right?” Lisa’s friend, Emma, asked me with wide eyes. Emma and Michelle were on the young side—mid-twenties, I guessed. They were both tiny and cute, Emma with her blonde pixie cut and Michelle’s auburn curls cascading down her back. Much to my surprise, I didn’t feel out of place. No one gave me the “what the hell is this chick in her thirties doing here” once-over or treated me differently.

  “Not that much different, really . . .” I drifted off as my eyes landed on a familiar face over Emma’s shoulder. His head turned as he leaned over the table to line up his pool shot, but the tiny glimpse was enough to be certain. Drew, the tall, dark, sexy-in-a-way-I-didn’t-want-to-notice, poor stranger I crashed into in the hallway on my very first day. I hadn’t seen him since and hoped maybe he was a visitor or a part-time student, but no such luck as he was here.

  His looks weren’t the only thing making it so damn hard to look away, although he really was gorgeous. The cropped yet purposeful mess of ink black hair, chocolate eyes, and olive skin—the whole package—equating to what an old coworker at my last restaurant would’ve referred to as a dreamboat. It was the fluidity of his movements I found intoxicating. The scraping of the chalk at the end of the stick as he laughed at something his friend had said, the natural grace when he leaned over the table. Even when I slammed into him, he seemed to catch me as if we were dancing. How he told me his name with a cocky confidence I felt in my toes, but he didn’t come off as full of himself.

  I turned my focus back to Emma, nodding at all the appropriate times and fighting the urge to watch him a little more. Although, I’d passed watching about two minutes ago and was close to full-on ogling.

  Emma glanced over her shoulder as her brows pulled together. “What are we missing?”

  “Nothing. I thought I saw someone from the restaurant, but false alarm.” I forced a tight smile as the relaxed position I enjoyed for the past hour disappeared and I stiffened on my bar stool. Our encounter lasted all of three minutes, so why was I so flustered seeing him again?

  “Excuse me.” I had the sudden urge for some cool water on the back of my neck and a breather. I’d wanted to ease myself into being social, not jump headfirst into the deep waters. I felt out of place and on display, and when I pushed through the ladies’ room swinging door, I glanced at the bathroom window to decipher if I could slip through and escape.

  After my minute alone, I forced myself back out there. How pathetic was it that I was probably one of the oldest people there, but on the inside, the most immature by far? I put my head down and trudged back out, only to slam into a familiar hard chest.

  “Sorry, hey there.” Drew’s lips stretched into a megawatt smile. It had been a long time since I liked a guy, but Drew didn’t count as I didn’t know him enough to like him. He was something pretty to look at, like the coq au vin from class the other day. Rich and decadent, but bad for my health if I indulged.

  “We have to stop crashing into each other like this.” The corner of his full mouth tipped up. “Sara, right?”

  “And you’re Drew. I remember.” I swayed to move past him, but he moved directly in my path.

  “Well, now that the reintroductions are over. Want to join us?” He jerked his chin toward the pool table behind him.

  “No, thank you. I’m here with some friends of mine. If you’ll excuse me—”

  “Oh, I just figured since you kept looking, you wanted to play.” He cocked his head to the side and laughed.

  “You . . . noticed me looking over here?” I was too flustered to come up with a good denial. And I’d spent the past fifteen minutes with my eyes glued to Drew’s ass as he lined up his shots. To lie and say I wasn’t would only make it worse.

  “I noticed you when you first came in. I was looking, too. Just stealthier about it.” He shrugged with an arrogant smile.

  “I can’t. Like I said, I’m here with my friends. Thanks for the offer.” I scooted around him and jetted back to the bar.

  I touched my flushed cheeks on the way back to the girls, cringing at how I probably ran away from Drew with a beet-red face. Maybe someday I’d be able to have a coherent conversation with an attractive man.

  Today was not that day.

  “See, I knew you’d have a great time.” Lisa arched a brow as she unlocked our door.

  “It was great to leave the room for a night, that’s for sure.” I agreed as I shrugged off my jacket. “The girls are nice. Don’t ask me to go clubbing just yet.�
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  She scoffed as she kicked off her boots. “You were fine. Although, if you wanted to play pool, you could have.” She cocked an eyebrow, and I knew I was busted.

  “No distractions. No matter how shiny and pretty. After my year is up and I finally graduate, I’m moving back to the city to find a job and an apartment for my daughter and me.”

  “Shame.” She tsked as she fell onto the bed. “Mr. Shiny and Pretty was looking back at you most of the night.”

  “Was he?” My voice came out in an unfamiliar shriek, causing a bubble of laughter from Lisa.

  “But, no distractions, right?” She winked as the corners of her mouth twitched. “Look, I get it. You want to get back home to Victoria. But, you could still have . . . a little fun. How long has it been?”

  “Since what? Fun?” I let out a humorless laugh. “Let’s see, my daughter is eight, so add nine months to that. I can’t afford to screw up again,” I whispered, reminding myself more than Lisa.

  “You won’t.” Lisa’s expression turned soft. “You are a great mom. You’re always speaking to Victoria, planning for her, saving for her. Is it so bad to plan for yourself, too?”

  “I should plan to flirt with the hot stranger in the bar next time?” I rose from the bed and trudged into the bathroom.

  “Yes. Plan something. For yourself. At this point, I think you’re out of excuses.”

  I didn’t answer as I shut the door behind me. I guessed being scared shitless wasn’t an excuse.

  Drew

  “I HONESTLY DON’T know what happened . . . I hope I didn’t break anything. You better have a look.” Sabrina peered at me under batting lashes as her finger drifted up my arm.

  Freshmen weren’t supposed to practice in the test kitchens and didn’t have a reason to. Second-year students were here the most, usually trying to crack a technique, and the third- and fourth-years knew their way around enough to test for the hell of it. This girl, twirling her auburn hair through her fingers with doe eyes fixed on me, wasn’t here to practice or test. How she got written permission to be here was beyond me, although I’d bet she used the hair thing for that, too.

  “I’m sure you didn’t. Point me to the station and I’ll fix it.” I forced a smile and suppressed an eye roll as I stood from my chair. Manning the test kitchen was supposed to be an easy on-campus job, and since the IT positions were gobbled up so damn fast, I thought this was an easy way to make money without too much aggravation. Usually I just signed people in or out, checked the power at one of the stations if a student had trouble, or passed the time during my allotted hours reading a book or working on a project. This girl wasn’t here to learn, as the only thing she studied when she’d come in was me. This was the fourth “I don’t know what happened” in two weeks.

  She had a petite, curvy body topped off with a cute face, but I never gave in to her attempts at flirting. Sabrina was the kind of girl I’d dated a hundred times. Granted, that’s what you were supposed to do in college: date, get laid, repeat, but it became tedious for me. My friends still embraced the cycle, but I wanted a woman who made me work for it, not offered herself on a platter before she even said hello.

  After I ambled over and found nothing wrong with the station or the equipment, I made my way back to the front desk. Sabrina muttered something about me being her hero, but I ignored it. I hoped she’d get the hint eventually, but eventually didn’t seem to be anytime soon.

  I slid back into my seat and opened up my laptop, hoping like hell for a quiet rest of the shift.

  “Hey,” a throaty voice greeted me, pulling my eyes away from my screen. “I know it’s late, but could I sign in for just an hour or so?”

  Well, I’ll be damned. The beautiful hallway and bar angel stood before me. She was the only woman to back away from me as if I had the Ebola virus the two times I’d met her. Both times, my eyes had stayed glued to the contour of her perfect ass as she rushed off to escape me. I noticed her at Night Owls the other night and caught her checking me out a few times. When I finally managed to slip away from the guys and reintroduce myself, she was even more skittish than when I first met her.

  Her whiskey-colored eyes searched mine, and fuck, she was gorgeous. A blush spread across her cheeks, and I couldn’t resist calling her on it.

  “At least we didn’t knock each other over this time.” My lips twitched as I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms.

  Her eyes narrowed as if I’d offended her. Forget about my usual game, small talk was like pulling teeth with this girl.

  She tucked a chestnut lock of hair behind her ear before glancing at her watch with a frustrated hiss. “I didn’t realize it was this late. I’d meant to get down here earlier, but classwork from today took longer than I’d thought, and I really wanted to cook something for myself for once. I’ll try back tomorrow.”

  She turned to leave, and I popped out of my seat and grabbed her elbow.

  “Not too late at all, Sara. Station in the front is totally free. Cook your heart out.”

  “Really?” She squinted as her head cocked to the side.

  “I have nowhere to be tonight.” I shrugged and leaned against the front of my desk. “It’s no trouble at all.”

  She gave me a small smile, and a little air whooshed out of my lungs. She really was beautiful, if not the most outgoing. She intrigued me even from that first day. So much so, I bought myself an extra hour in the cooking lab for a chance to get to know her a little bit.

  “Thank you so much.” She rushed over and happily dug out a mixing bowl for whatever she had set out to make. I’d never seen one of the students enjoy what they were doing so much. Her passion was intoxicating. A thought crossed my mind that maybe, when pushed enough, she could be passionate about other things, too—and use those full pink lips to show it.

  Screw it. I was stuck here for an extra hour anyway. I’d give small talk another try. Sabrina and most of the other students already left so Sara and I were almost all alone.

  “So, what are you making?”

  Sara jumped, so engrossed in her task she didn’t even register my approach.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” I raised my hands and took a step back.

  “No, it’s okay. I’m making cookies actually. I used to make them for my . . . back home, so I wanted to soothe my homesickness I guess.” She kneaded the dough with very capable hands, quick, nimble, beautiful. I had never been jealous of flour and water before.

  “Where are you from? I’m guessing you transferred here from somewhere.”

  “New York City. Queens. I did, but I took a little break after my last semester.”

  “How long?” She stilled at the question before raising her head.

  “Oh about, eight years or so.” She laughed at my widened eyes.

  “Eight years?” I cleared my throat, doing a terrible job of covering my shock. “What made you come back after so long?”

  She was silent for a few beats, rolling tiny balls of dough and carefully placing them onto a sheet.

  “Long story.”

  “So, you’re . . .” I fumbled, now caught way off guard.

  “Thirty-two.” She quirked an eyebrow before shoving the trays in the oven.

  “No.” My hand drifted down my face. “I mean . . . I’m glad you were able to come back.” Get it together, idiot.

  She gave me that little smile again, and my chest swelled. I had the feeling smiles from Sara didn’t come easy. My gaze fell on her mouth again, hypnotized by the way she was chewing her bottom lip. Her nervous tic had me hot and bothered. Telling me her age was probably her way of making me back off, but it didn’t work. I wanted to know her. I wanted to see who she was beneath all the tentative toughness she pushed to the surface. What I really wanted was to see that smile again, and the cat and mouse staring game we were playing the other night gave me a twinge of hope that maybe I could figure out how.

  “I have cousins in Queens. Astoria. The crazy Kostas
family, maybe you’ve met them.”

  “Can’t say that I have.” She glanced at the floor before lifting her eyes to mine. “I’m really sorry I kept you here.”

  I waved my hand. “No bother at all. Although if you’re feeling badly about it, you could make it up to me . . .”

  “Make it up to you?” She squinted and rested her elbows on the counter.

  “Coffee. Just one cup tomorrow afternoon. I’ll go easy on you.”

  She dropped her eyes to the floor and shook her head. “I can’t. It’s just not a good idea. I need to . . . focus while I’m here.”

  “And . . . coffee is a distraction? I don’t follow.” I inched over to her station, close enough for her not to be able to ignore me.

  “It could be. I’m sorry.” She studied my face with a silent plea, her chest heaving before her wary eyes locked with mine.

  “Maybe another time, then.”

  An unexpected laugh bubbled out of her chest.

  “Finish your recipe and whenever you’re done, I’ll lock up.”

  “Thanks, Drew,” she whispered with that sultry voice.

  I did say I loved a challenge.

  Sara

  “THE COFFEE ON our floor is free. Why are you dragging me here again?” I cocked a brow at Lisa when we arrived at the tiny coffee shop. There was a fall bite in the air, more than I was used to for only early September. Another adjustment I needed to make after relocating all the way upstate from Queens. I shivered in my light denim jacket.

  “Well, the free coffee sucks,” she scoffed. “I’m used to it, but they make a killer latte here. It won’t break the bank, I promise. And I told you I wasn’t letting you molt in our room when you’re not working or in class.” She held the door open for me to walk through.