Rewrite Read online

  Table of Contents

  REWRITE

  Dedication

  Soundtrack

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Epilogue

  Enjoy an excerpt of After You

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Books by Stephanie Rose

  Rewrite

  Copyright © 2017 by Stephanie Rose

  All Rights Reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted on any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locals is entirely coincidental.

  Except the original material written by the author, all songs, song titles, and lyrics contained in the book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.

  Cover Design: Najla Qamber Designs

  www.najlaqamberdesigns.com

  Photography: MaeIDesign & Photography

  www.maeidesign.com

  Models: Josh and Shauna Meyers

  Interior Design and Formatting: Type A Formatting

  www.typeaformatting.com

  Editing:

  Mitzi Pummer Carroll

  Proofreading:

  Marisa Nichols

  Contents

  REWRITE

  Dedication

  Soundtrack

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Epilogue

  Enjoy an excerpt of After You

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Books by Stephanie Rose

  To my close crew of friends who made this book possible. The talented women I met along this writing journey who took time out of their busy, multijob schedules to help me make this book something I’m proud of. Thank you for the late-night instant message gut checks, the incessant edits to the blurb, the read throughs, and the invaluable support you give me on a daily basis. I’m blessed to have you in my life.

  “You have been my friend . . .

  That in itself is a tremendous thing.”

  —EB White.

  Spotify Link

  I’ll Stand By You—The Pretenders, Bob Clearmountain

  From Where You Are—Lifehouse

  She Will Be Loved—Maroon 5

  Story of My Life—One Direction

  Photograph—Ed Sheeran

  True Colors—Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake

  Something Just Like This—The Chainsmokers, Coldplay

  You & I—One Direction

  I Was Made For Loving You—Tori Kelly, Ed Sheeran

  Give Me Love—Ed Sheeran

  Feels Like Tonight—Daughtry

  Mr. Brightside—The Killers

  Everything—Lifehouse

  A Thousand Years—Christina Perri

  With or Without You—U2

  Crazy Love—Van Morrison

  Perfect—Ed Sheeran

  Brianna

  THEY SAY WHEN you meet the love of your life, it’s a day you’ll never forget. Your soul sings and your body hums, all because you “know.” That innate instinct telling you, you finally found your person. Maybe it’s a look of longing across a crowded bar. Or the gasped breath you take as you slide into your seat in class next to the man of your dreams. That thunderbolt could hit you anywhere, at any time. The lightning singes you to your core where you stand, and there’s no going back.

  The thunderbolt found me in Mrs. Ruiz’s kindergarten class. I met the love of my life when I was five years old. Before I knew about romance, lust, and words to love songs that are supposed to describe that “feeling.”

  All I knew was that Josh Falco was my everything. Maybe I didn’t know what to call it at the time, but from the beginning, it was love.

  Believe it or not, I remembered the day I met Josh, even at that young age. Maybe not every little detail. I remembered the twinge of dread in the pit of my stomach knowing the girls who picked on me so mercilessly that summer would be in my class. I was klutzy and chunky, an unfortunate combination that screamed “bully me!” Humiliation and intimidation are traumas you never forget, no matter how old you are. I learned early on that the mean people were everywhere and tended to always have control of the room.

  I remembered keeping my chin stuck to my chest most of the day, not wanting to find out if the giggles behind me were about me. Playtime was the best part of the day. When the kids scattered, I was still solo, but I found the most beautiful set of blocks. They were pink and purple and so pretty. I built my own princess castle, securing it with the crystal star block at the top. I pretended it was a moon or sun. My own little kingdom, until a fist made it come crashing down.

  “Baby girl blocks! Brianna’s a baby!” Vinny Parker, my next-door neighbor, cackled as I glared at him through my unshed tears. He didn’t discriminate. He was just a bully—plain and simple.

  It was the only fun I’d had all day, and the only time I smiled since I trudged into the classroom. My face burned as hot tears trickled down my cheeks. Why didn’t anyone want to be my friend? I couldn’t understand it. I buried my face in my hands and wished I could disappear.

  A loud bang made my head jerk up. Vinny was rolling on the floor, sniffling as his hands wrapped around his middle.

  “He hit me!” Vinny’s nostrils flared. He pointed to the boy standing over us from where he still lay on the floor. I knew all about superheroes since m
y dad was a comic book geek, but I’d never seen one up close before. The boy who came to my rescue didn’t have a cape. His green eyes hid behind the floppy, dark curls on his head as he returned Vinny’s mean stare.

  Mrs. Ruiz ran over and pulled Vinny and the new boy away from each other, dragging them to the “thinking chairs” in the back of the room. Vinny hiccupped as his tears turned into an ugly cry. The other boy—Mrs. Ruiz called him Josh—didn’t utter a single sound. He didn’t look mad or mean or even sad that he’d gotten in trouble.

  At lunchtime, I sat alone on the far end of the table, unpacking the lunch Mom always gave me: a ham and cheese sandwich and two chocolate cupcakes with the white icing swirl at the top. They were my favorite ones.

  “Can I sit here?” Josh asked me in a whisper. Seeing him up close, I wondered where his lunchbox was or if his mom noticed the bottom of his jeans were dirty. I always got in trouble for that.

  “Okay.” I moved my Wonder Woman lunch box so he could sit. “Where’s your lunch?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t have one.” He rubbed his belly, I guessed to cover up the growl he couldn’t muffle.

  I reached into the box and pulled out the foil-covered sandwich. “Do you want mine? I wasn’t going to eat it anyway.”

  His mouth twisted as he squinted at me. “You don’t want it?”

  I shook my head. “I only really wanted the cupcakes.”

  Josh laughed as he took the sandwich from my hand. My nose crinkled at the black under his fingernails. My mom always made me scrub my hands when I got them that dirty.

  “You only want cupcakes for lunch. That’s funny.”

  “I love cupcakes.” I glared at Josh with folded arms. “And I hate ham and cheese.”

  “Okay, Cupcake,” Josh said through a mouthful of cheese and meat.

  “My name is Brianna.” I stomped my foot under the table. “Why did you punch Vinny?”

  “Because he made you cry.”

  I let my arms go and unwrapped my first cupcake. “Where are your friends?”

  “I don’t have any friends,” he mumbled as he continued to chew.

  “I can be your friend.” I lifted my head all the way up and turned toward Josh.

  He smiled at me for the first time. I was too young to have a heart pitter-patter in my chest, but I thought he was beautiful all the same. I’d never seen anyone smile with their whole face.

  I took a big chomp of my cupcake, making us both giggle when the cream inside smeared on my nose.

  “Sure . . . Cupcake.” He laughed again as he finished my sandwich.

  I glanced around the room, not caring anymore who was there. From that day on, it was only the two of us. As long as I had Josh, I didn’t need anyone else. I fell in love with Josh the minute he punched someone solely for making me cry; I just didn’t know it until I was much older.

  Right before I lost him.

  Brianna ~ Thirteen years later

  ME: I’m outside. Either come downstairs or I ring the bell.

  NOTHING SET A person up for rejection like showing up unannounced. But if I’d texted before my arrival I’d get no response, so why should I have bothered? I was a hell of a lot braver on the short walk up the block from my house, all sorts of emotions fueling every step I took until I sprinted the last few feet.

  I planted myself on his bottom step until I heard the creak of the screen door opening.

  “Brianna, just go,” Josh snapped as he glared at me from his front door.

  I glared right back as I leveled my gaze. “No. I won’t ‘just go.’ After all these years, I deserve something. ‘Thanks for sticking by me.’ ‘Goodbye.’ ‘Go fuck yourself.’ We’ve been best friends since kindergarten and you’re leaving for boot camp—or so I heard—tomorrow. Respect me at least that much, won’t you?”

  Josh raked his hands over his face. “I’m doing you a favor.”

  I stepped back and shook my head. “A favor? Throwing me aside like I’m no one is a favor? You’re real generous, Falco.” I folded my arms over my heaving chest.

  His jaw clenched as he trudged down the stairs. He stomped through his days with an ever-present chip on his shoulder, but the sour expression he gave everyone else couldn’t fool me. I saw beyond the hardened edges and malice that he did his best to put forth to everyone else. With me, he was just Josh. My best friend. The best friend who was leaving me forever without a word.

  “What about finishing high school? You can’t just leave!” But, in reality, he’d left a long time ago. He hadn’t been to school in three weeks and his locker was cleared out as if he was never coming back. Even before that, I hadn’t seen my Josh in months. The angry jerk who stood in front of me wasn’t my best friend, but I couldn’t stop hoping that he was still in there somewhere.

  “I did finish high school. Got my GED today.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and gave me an annoyed shrug as if it was no big deal at all. Maybe to him, it wasn’t. I was the only one devastated in our now one-sided friendship.

  “Why didn’t you just stay to finish like the rest of us? What’s the rush?” My voice shrieked as panic filtered through my system.

  “I had one choice.” He let out a long sigh. “Uncle Billy was able to get his old military buddy to agree to let me enlist as long as I got my GED and I tested clean. They both spoke to the judge for me, and he agreed, since I didn’t have a record. You know it’s better this way.” The glare in his eyes softened for only a moment when his gaze met mine.

  “Better this way? How could you say that?”

  “I’m poison, Brianna,” Josh whispered. “Just admit it.”

  “Stop saying that!”

  He ran his hands over his newly-shaved head. Gone were the black curls that fell over his face, the ones I had dreams of running my fingers through when he kissed me.

  “This is your chance. I’m not your burden anymore. You’re free of me, Cupcake. Finally.”

  “Free of you? Are you serious?” My shaking hands balled into fists at my sides. I was losing him for good, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  I never wanted to be “free” of Josh. I loved him. Not just as my best friend. I loved him with my entire heart and soul, and now I was about to lose the little part of him that always belonged to only me since we were kids. I knew his loves, his fears, and why he’d been in a downward spiral that was now accelerating beyond his control. I was the only one he cried to in rare moments of weakness, and the only one he laughed with on the few occasions he let his guard down. I never tried to save him, but I wouldn’t leave him. How could I? He was everything to me.

  Josh’s eyes met mine but then darted to the ground. “They searched my locker. It was this or jail.”

  “For weed? That’s stupid—”

  He bit his lip and looked everywhere but in my direction. “There was Molly in there, too.”

  My mouth fell open as I took a step back. “Why would you . . .”

  He cocked his head as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Don’t look at me like that, Bri. You know I don’t use that shit. Gio told me I could get a lot more for the hard stuff, and the old man is too behind on the mortgage. It was this or move into the Y.”

  “But your dad was supposed to get disability checks. Couldn’t he—”

  “No, Bri,” he clipped. “Even when they start coming in, it won’t be enough. We’re too behind, so either we pay or the bank forecloses on the house.” Josh sold drugs to help pay the bills. He hid it from me for months, but I knew. This was it. Devastation seeped into my veins. How was I supposed to function without Josh? Sure, he kept his distance from me more and more, but even when we weren’t together, we were. I couldn’t explain it. I felt his presence around me. We used to joke that we had a best friends’ spidey-sense. When did the bond between us turn into a curse?

  “What about rehab or something—?” My desperate brain tried to come up with a solution—any solution. I was about to run inside and beg
my parents to take him in—anything to make him stay.

  “I’m eighteen. All of those places are off the table. It’s done, Brianna. Let it go.”

  Let it go? Let Josh go? I didn’t know how to do that.

  I took in a deep breath and gazed at him. If he wanted to keep the asshole mask on until he left, I’d let him. I knew who was really behind it, no matter how much he huffed and sneered at me.

  “So, you aren’t even going to call me?” I crossed my arms and inched closer.

  “I doubt I can have a phone at boot camp.” Josh spit his words at me, but didn’t back away.

  “Then write me. You know, once they let you hold sharp objects again.”

  Josh looked away, but not before I caught the hint of a smile. “Still looking to torture me with more writing.”

  “Maybe.” A sad smile curved my lips. “You know you want to see how my book ends. Remember that summer I stayed at my grandparents’ upstate and we wrote every week? You probably couldn’t write every week, but maybe sometimes . . .”

  I hated leaving Josh that summer, and he knew it. When I received that first letter in the mail, I ran my finger along the grooves his handwriting made into the paper and pretended that he wasn’t three hours away. I was overjoyed to still have a piece of him with me. I was as pathetic now as I was back then, but I still had to try.

  I kissed his cheek and let out a long sigh as everything about him filled my senses. I took in his strong jaw, just inches away from his full lips. He was my beautiful, troubled boy. I cupped his cheek and noted his sharp gasp as my hand drifted down his face. He bit his lip as his gaze softened. Our eyes locked as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. The air between us was heavy with love and regret. For one brief second, Josh allowed the fear and the hurt he buried deep inside to flash on his beautiful face. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but it closed and flattened to a hard line. He planted a quick kiss on my forehead before he jerked away.

  “Look, I have to go.” He turned to walk back up his steps. I zoned in on the back of his head, and did my damnedest to pretend I’d see him tomorrow. I tried with everything I had not to feel the finality and sadness that grew with every step he took toward his door. Even though he was still in my line of sight, the distance between us was already miles wide. He reached for his screen door and stilled.