Finding Me Page 6

  “Owen? Is everything okay?” Bella kissed my cheek, rubbing my arm as she looked between Amber and me. It was a small but clear act of possession, and the flaring of Amber’s nostrils were proof it worked like a charm. “Hi, Amber.”

  Amber let out a humorless laugh and glowered at Bella before storming away.

  “I don’t think she likes me very much. I guess she thinks I took you away from her.”

  My gaze jerked to Bella’s. “You … know?”

  Bella nodded. “At the last game, her friend Christine warned me that I was wasting my time since you always went back to Amber anyway.” She pursed her lips as she looked at me.

  I let out a long sigh as I tore the stupid crown off my head. “That’s not true. I would never—” Bella held up her hand and shook her head.

  “I know what it’s like to have rumors go around about you that are only half-truths because people are resentful and evil. Maybe I’m naïve, but I … trust you. I mean, you worked pretty hard to get close to me. If you wanted the easy hookup I think you would have just gone that route instead, right? But you dealt with my moody New York attitude and asked for more.” Bella smirked as she wrapped her arms around my waist and planted a kiss on my chin. “That should count for something.”

  I chuckled and pecked her lips. My brave girl. She dropped hints here and there as to why she chose a college all the way up here instead of one of the top schools in the city, but I wouldn’t press for the full story. She would tell me when she was ready.

  “Yeah, you were pretty tough to take sometimes. Still are.” She grinned and cuddled into my chest. “But I don’t want to be anywhere else,” I whispered into her hair.

  “Good.” Bella beamed at me and kissed my lips. “Neither do I.”

  Bella

  “HEY, BELLA! OWEN’S UPSTAIRS. YOU can go right up.” Ethan nodded toward the staircase that led to their apartment. He was a nice, easy going guy, and the only one of Owen’s friends not on the hockey team. He had chocolate brown hair, hazel eyes and a killer smile, and was never without a girl at his side. Owen’s other roommate, Andy, wasn’t bad either, but not the most social guy. Owen said he was good people, albeit an acquired taste.

  I couldn’t quite make eye contact with Ethan since the last time I came back to the apartment with Owen before Thanksgiving break. We caught Ethan naked in the hallway—on a date and thinking they had the place to themselves for a night. I was no prude, but seeing junk not belonging to my boyfriend turned me three shades of red. I hadn’t even seen Owen’s, but I … felt it … a lot. On my leg, against my stomach, sometimes rubbing my back if he was holding me from behind. Why I was so bashful I couldn’t say, especially since I didn’t have a cherry to pop. But it was only one guy and only one time, shortly before he shredded my heart and then stomped all over it. Even though I couldn’t make my virginity grow back, I wasn’t quite ready to go there again. However, not being ready for sex had absolutely nothing to do with wanting it. Our time together always ended with a scorching kiss and groping against the nearest wall. Owen’s Southern gentility was probably wearing thin these past few weeks.

  “Owen? The movie starts in a half hour!” I called as I strolled down the hallway.

  “Hey, City. Give me a minute, practice ran late.” Owen had just stepped out of the shower and was dripping freaking wet. The V on his hips disappeared into a towel cinched around his tapered waist. Water traveled from the stray tangled locks at his neck and trickled down over his ripped chest and his abs before disappearing into the bunched up material at his waist. I licked my parched lips and tried to remember how to speak. How many damn abs did he have? Six? Eight? I was gaping at a wet, half naked Owen while the corner of the bastard’s mouth turned up in a smirk. I didn’t have the faculties to scowl back. My tongue didn’t want to work unless it was tracing the water trails across Owen’s body.

  “Keep looking at me like that, baby. We won’t be going anywhere tonight.”

  “What? I’m not … it’s just …” Words stumbled awkwardly out of my mouth as Owen’s chest shook with laughter. I craned my neck around to make sure we were still alone, then narrowed my eyes at him before I pushed him against the sink and attacked his lips. A moan escaped my throat as his tongue plunged inside my greedy mouth. His lips trailed down my neck and across my collarbone. Owen shut the door behind me and turned the lock with one hand as the other grabbed my ass to pull my body flush to his. His towel was getting loose, and sliding low. I may have been a little scared of his package ten minutes ago, but I was on board with saying a big hello now—from my knees. I dragged my nails down Owen’s chest and pulled at the pesky terrycloth knot at his waist until the towel drooped, snagging on his bulging hard-on … waiting at attention.

  My hands drifted back up Owen’s torso and his racing heart hammered against my fingertips. Inhibitions, modesty, and whatever else was holding me back faded away as I dragged open-mouthed kisses across his chest and up to his neck. The vibration of his throaty groan against my lips made me giggle.

  “Mmm, you should greet me like this more often. In fact, I think—”

  “Owen,” I panted as I took my mouth off his body and gazed up at him.

  “Yeah, Bella?” His eyes were molten and hooded as he traced the seam of my lips with his index finger. The desperate rasp of his voice as he said my name almost made my knees buckle.

  “Shut up.” I grabbed a fistful of his drenched hair and went back to devouring his lips.

  Owen broke the kiss long enough to yank my jacket off my shoulders and pull my shirt over my head. He let out a growl as he kissed his way down my shoulder and across the swell of my breasts.

  “You’re getting me wet.” I glanced down at my now transparent white bra clinging to Owen’s damp chest.

  Owen brushed his lips against mine. “I should hope so,” he whispered as his index finger grazed inside the waistband of my jeans. He inched the zipper down and eased his hand inside my panties. His eyes fluttered as he let out a sharp hiss. “Bella … baby, you’re soaked … you feel so good.” The delicious strokes of his fingers as they glided between my legs brought noises out of me I’d never heard before. The pad of his thumb made light circles while his middle finger dipped inside me. I was dizzy as he locked his heated gaze with mine. I could tell he was holding back, and I was done making him.

  “Touch me, Owen. Please … deeper …”

  Owen slid another finger deep inside and my entire body jerked. “Come on, Bella.” His husky voice made me shake even more. “Let go for me, baby.”

  I gripped his damp hair and licked the fleshy pad of his bottom lip. My hands shook as the buildup grew in my core. Owen’s towel slackened even more, and the thought of him replacing his fingers with the rock hardness between us tipped me over the edge. Tremors ripped through my body as I dropped my head to his chest.

  Boneless and sated, I gazed back up at Owen and pulled his towel the rest of the way down. Shyness overtook me for a moment, my eyes darted everywhere but where I really wanted to look. I wrapped my hand around him and inched it up and down the length of him. He was silky smooth and throbbing in my hand. I kept my gaze locked on his. A strangled moan escaped his throat.

  “That’s it, just like that.” Owen’s chest heaved as I picked up the pace. “Bella, you’re so …” He reached for the towel and held it between us. His body stiffened as he found his release. He slid his hand around my waist and buried his head in the crook of my neck until he stopped shaking. Owen’s quivering hands cradled my face. His eyes widened as they fixed on me, his mouth slack as he tried to control his breathing.

  “I … I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Bella,” Owen stammered as he ran his thumbs back and forth over my cheeks.

  My head spun as my lips touched his. If only he knew what he was doing to me. I already wanted him again. My tongue burned to retrace its path across his muscular chest and continue over his entire body, still wet and naked. Trepidation and insecurity kep
t getting in my way. The constant ache between my legs and heat coursing through my veins didn’t allow for fear—not anymore.

  “All I know,” Owen whispered in a shaky breath against my lips, “is that I don’t want you to stop.”

  Bella

  “WHAT TIME IS YOUR FLIGHT tomorrow?” I lounged on Owen’s bed, my head snuggled into his chest. I draped my arm around his waist as he ran his fingers through my hair. My eyes fluttered every time he grazed my scalp.

  “Nine o’clock.” He sighed and crinkled his nose at me as I peered up to meet his gaze. The semester was over and Christmas was in three days. I came to his apartment after I packed my bags back at my dorm. I wanted to squeeze in as much time with him as I could. I was headed back to the city on an eight o’clock train in the morning. I’d only known Owen since August, but going home felt as if I was leaving a limb behind.

  “Soooo.” I jumped up and sat on my knees. I faked enthusiasm to fight the sadness seeping into my bones at leaving Owen for almost a month. “Want your Christmas present?” I reached into my purse on the floor next to his bed and waved an envelope in my hands.

  “Aw, City … you didn’t have to get me anything.” Owen tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, then snatched the envelope out of my hand. “But I love presents.” He kissed my cheek before he tore the envelope open. The smile faded from his lips as he opened the card.

  “How did you get these?”

  “My friend Barb is a PR intern for the New York Rangers. I asked her if she could get us tickets for a game against the Avalanche, and her boss gave me a great discount. Only thing is, you’d have to come home with me that weekend. Is that okay with you?” I pursed my lips as I awaited his reaction. We’d been inseparable these past few weeks, but offering to take someone home with you was a small but significant—and scary—step forward.

  Owen grabbed me by the waist and pulled me on top of him. “Thank you so much. I would love to go home with you.” He grabbed the nape of my neck and pulled my lips to his for a soft kiss.

  “My family will love you. Even my dad, who will act like he hates you, and will try to scare you as much as he can.” I took his face in my hands as he laughed.

  “I can respect that.” He kissed my forehead. “I guess you want your present now, too.” He reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out a tiny black box with a silver bow.

  I lifted the small lid, and gasped when I found a diamond star on a silver necklace.

  “Owen … this is … thank you.” I took the necklace out of the box and ran my fingers over the star. I put it around my neck and felt around for the clasp to put it on.

  Owen reached over and fastened the necklace for me. “You like it?” He whispered in my ear as he pulled away.

  “Like it? Owen …” I traced over the star on my neck. “It’s too much.”

  A slow smile spread across his face as he shook his head. He leaned over and planted a soft kiss on my collarbone. “It’s perfect. You’re my sky full of stars, remember?” How the hell was I getting on that train not a blubbering mess tomorrow? I flung my arms around him and buried my face in his neck.

  A faint ring coming from the kitchen broke the silence.

  “I left my phone in the kitchen. That’s probably my mother calling for my flight number. I’m twenty but still her baby boy. I’ll be right back.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and sprinted out of his room.

  The apartment was eerily quiet. Andy and Ethan already went home and Owen and I were all alone. The realization that no one would be coming home to interrupt us, or hear us, both excited and terrified me. Owen and I still hadn’t had sex, but we had accomplished mostly everything but. Time limits and roommates coming home always cut us off at the pass. We could have just shut and locked the door, but whenever we got there, something always held me back. My eyes darted to his hockey jersey draped over the folding chair in the corner. My heart raced as an idea came into my head. I popped off his bed to grab his jersey and jetted into the bathroom.

  I shut the door and started stripping. Underwear on or off? What was sexier? Off, right? I moved fast as my hands shook. I was doing this. Fear wasn’t ruling me anymore. I loved Owen. I wasn’t sure when that happened but it was real. Even though neither of us had said the words out loud, I thought Owen loved me, too. I wasn’t trying to prove anything, but I had enough of being too afraid to take what I wanted. And what I wanted, more than anything else in this world, was Owen.

  I’d already said goodbye to Laura and I didn’t have to run back to my dorm. If I was up all night, I could sleep on the train. I took a deep breath and gazed into the mirror. Owen was so much larger than me that the sleeves of his jersey draped past my hands and the hem brushed over my knees.

  “Bella? Hey City, are you okay?” Owen knocked on the door as I gripped the edge of the sink.

  I opened the door and gave Owen a small smile. I wanted to be seductive, but considering I had to hold onto the doorknob to keep my hands from shaking, I focused on staying upright.

  A smirk tickled the side of his mouth until his eyes went to the heap of clothes behind me. His brow furrowed as his jaw dropped. “You’re completely …”

  “Naked under here? Yep.” My lips made a popping sound at the p.

  My chest heaved as I tried in vain to control my breathing. A cluster of emotions rushed through me; fear for opening myself up to someone again, anxiety over disappointing Owen since I was dumped after the only other time I ever had sex, and anticipation. I had wanted Owen for so long, and the ache intensified with each passing day. Now, nothing was stopping us. It was a heady but frightening feeling.

  I closed the short distance between us and let my hands drift down Owen’s chest. His eyes locked with mine as a heavy silence passed over us.

  “You’re sure?” Owen caught my hands and laced our fingers together.

  “Yes, but there’s a few things I need to tell you first.” I took in a deep breath before I continued. “I’m not a virgin, but I’ve only done this once.” I gripped his hands tighter and licked my parched lips. “And I was dumped soon after. I have this worry in the back of my head that maybe it was because I’m not … very good at it.” I cringed as I waited for Owen’s reaction. I didn’t expect him to laugh.

  “Not good at it?” He shook his head and pulled me closer. “Impossible. Your ex was the world’s biggest asshole. Is that why you came all the way up here instead of going to school in the city?”

  I nodded. “It’s a long story that I don’t want to spoil tonight with, but yes, what happened made staying close to home unbearable.”

  Owen wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry for whatever happened, but I’m glad it brought you here,” he whispered against my lips before giving me a soft kiss. “You’re supposed to be mine, no one else’s. So he did us a favor.” My body relaxed as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

  “You’re really naked under my jersey?” Owen murmured against my lips.

  I grabbed his hand and inched it up my pantiless hip. A groan escaped Owen’s throat as he lifted me up by the waist. I snaked my legs around him as our lips tangled together.

  He lay me on the bed and ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “You’re full of surprises.”

  I squinted my eyes at him as I felt for the hem of his T-shirt. “Good surprise?” I yanked his shirt over his head and dragged my nails down his chest.

  “Very, very good surprise.” He brought his lips back to mine, and the kiss became frantic. My fingers fumbled around his waist for his belt buckle while Owen pulled the jersey up to my neck. I finally unbuttoned his pants and he opened the zipper and kicked them off.

  Owen climbed on top of me and looked down at me with hooded eyes. “Arms up,” he whispered. I raised them as he pulled the jersey over my head. I turned my gaze from his and closed my eyes.

  “No you don’t, City. Eyes on me.” Owen put his finger under my chin and turned my head to face him. “You have no idea how beautiful you
are. I was a goner from the first moment I saw you. And now, you’re all mine.” He dragged open-mouthed kisses over my collarbone and traced the thin chain along my neck with his fingers. “This looks even better on you now, like this …” Owen ran his hands down my chest and cupped my breasts. He sucked a nipple into his mouth as his thumb traced circles around the other. My hips bucked off the bed as I pulled his hair.

  Owen gazed up at me and chuckled. “Do you know when you get really turned on, you make your own little noise?”

  “I do?” I sat up on my elbows, panting. “What noise?”

  Owen nodded with a devious smile. “It’s a cross between a growl and a moan. It’s a sound you can’t fake, guttural …” Owen dipped his tongue in my belly button as he held his gaze on mine. “It’s the sexiest sound in the world.” He dragged his lips down my stomach until he was between my legs, and ‘the noise’ tumbled from my lips.

  This I’d never done before. Christian was either intimidated or waiting for me to do it first. Owen’s mouth at the apex of my thighs was a heaven I never expected. He kissed, sucked, and licked until I came apart on his tongue. My legs were still shaking when Owen crawled on top of me.

  “You’re even sweeter than I thought you’d be.” He opened his nightstand drawer and felt around until he pulled out a condom. I blinked away the nasty twinge in my stomach at the notion of him already having condoms in his bedroom. That was before me; no sense in dwelling on what didn’t matter. Owen rolled it on and raised his eyebrows in a silent question. I nodded and braced myself when he slid into me inch by inch.

  “Doing okay?” Owen whispered as he eased himself deeper inside me.

  I choked out a “Yes,” and wrapped my arms tighter around him. I was sore but full—deliciously and gloriously full. Owen stilled inside me and on instinct I raised my hips to try to get him to go deeper.

  He pulled all the way out and slid back in fast and deep. I dug my nails into his back, urging him to go faster. Sweat dripped down his cheek as his eyes locked with mine. He reached a spot deep inside that made my legs go rigid. I dug my heels into his mattress and cried out. Owen tensed and groaned soon after, and his head collapsed on my chest.